I heard Jesus was back in town,
But I didn’t want to go.
I was just so confused and hurt when he didn’t heal my Lazarus
I didn’t want my face to show.
How could I commune with the One
Who could’ve taken her pain away?
Who told me this sickness would not end in death?
Who told me she would with us stay?
But the truth is, I can’t stay away from him.
I’m not one for long fights.
I’d rather throw in the towel and hear his voice again.
I’m tired of the long nights.
So, I surrender the grief.
I ask for revelation and life,
“Don’t let her death be in vain!”
May this heartache no longer be strife.
~excerpt from A Mary Like Me: Flawed Yet Called
I confess, I’ve been angry with God.
When my one and only sister lost a second battle with the evil we call cancer, I was mad at God. My anger was not because of her death, which broke my heart, but I had thought I’d heard from God, and I believed with all the faith in the world that she would survive.
So, when she didn’t, either God wasn’t shooting straight with me, and he wasn’t the good God I’d always known and loved, or my discernment of the things of God was broken.
It was such an uncomfortable place to be. I had loved God since I was a little girl.
But one day, I got tired of being angry and feeling separated from him, and on that day, I knew I had to choose to trust in his goodness no matter what I felt.
On that day I raised my hands in praise again and danced to him.
And that is when it happened.
That’s the moment the oozing pain of grief no longer seeped from the wound in my heart. That’s when I knew he had seared the wound closed with his love. It didn’t hurt, but I picture it like a soldering iron searing the wound shut.
I love this verse:
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you; he will quiet you with his love; he will rejoice over you with singing” Zephaniah 3:17
The Hebrew word translated as “quiet” is charash which holds the meanings: to scratch, that is (by implication) to engrave . . . as well as to quiet and keep silent.
I think it strange to think of God “quieting” us with his love though many times I have gone to him throwing a temper tantrum or wailing. But what if the writer’s intentions were to say that God’s love is engraved on our hearts. It marks us.
I believe the day I surrendered my grief and anger and chose to trust his goodness and worship again, he marked my heart when he seared the wound. I’m marked by The Healing God.
I’ve experienced the truth in Isaiah 61.
He bound up my broken heart . . . comforted my mourning soul . . . and gave me a garment of praise to wear in exchange for the spirit of despair.
He used that terrible experience to help me realize how important it is for our faith foundation to BE his goodness. If we don’t believe he is good, we’re goners. We won’t keep our faith.
I heard a preacher say, “We’re either running toward God or away from him. There’s no camping out in the middle.”
I think he’s right.
But we don’t have to blindly believe God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are good, because we have scriptures to prove it as well as testimonies of his hand in our lives.
It’s easy to trust his goodness when things are good, but it can be difficult when life is falling apart, and that is why knowing the scriptures about his goodness is important. Our feelings are fickle. Life is full of surprises and ups and downs, but The Word of God is constant.
A Reading Plan on God’s Goodness
Sneak Peek of Scriptures and Questions
Psalm 119:68: You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.
Why can we trust God’s instruction on living?
Nehemiah 9:20: You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst.
Why is God good according to this verse? How has he provided for you?
Psalm 145:9: The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.
How does knowing God has compassion on all he has made help you trust his goodness
Psalm 86:5: You, Lord, are forgiving and good abounding in love to all who call to you.
Why is this verse important?
James 1: 17: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
What good gift has God given you lately?
Nahum 1:7: The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.
How can we make God our refuge in times of trouble?
Psalm 147:7: Sing to the Lord with grateful praise; make music to our God on the harp.
Write a prayer of thanksgiving and praise.
Click here for the Printable and questions !
I pray these verses will bless you this week. I pray that where there are places of hurt or doubt of God’s goodness, his truth will go from your head to your heart, and you will experience the mark of his love. That healing touch.
Digging Deep into His Goodness,