Christmas, grief

4 Things to Do to When Change Makes Celebrating Hard

Change in our lives affects how we celebrate holidays.

Why does change have such an effect on us?

Whether our change is caused by a move, a job change, or a loss of some kind, change can usher in grief. And grief can tear a big empty hole in our hearts that makes it difficult to do what we’ve always done like putting up a Christmas tree or dragging out all of the decorations.


How do we celebrate when it’s hard?

This is what I’ve learned during those grief laden holidays.

  • Give yourself grace.

It really is okay if your celebration is not the same. If you don’t decorate as much as the years past, or you don’t drag all of your holiday treasures out of the closet this year, it’s okay.

  • Change it up.

Do something different. Do a little decorating, but keep it simple and do something you’ve always wanted to do, but you never gave yourself time or permission to do. (I put wreaths on the inside my windows last year instead of on the outside. No bows. Just simple wreaths hung with jute string. it was something I had always wanted to do.)

  • Light more candles and put out some twinkle lights.

Twinkle lights and candles–even the fake kind, always make me feel better. Light in the darkness is beautiful and speaks to our soul. String twinkle lights in your house whether on a plant or in a window sill or mantle. Christmas is the season of light.

  • Focus on giving a gift to the garbage guys or the mail lady or somebody you’ve always intended to bless but never took time to do so.

Obviously, for me, my somebody is the garbage guys and the mail lady. Every year I want to do something for them, but I run out of time or money or both. Last year, as I struggled with empty-nest syndrome,  giving gifts to them was my goal.

  • Seek the Lord. Spend more time with Holy Spirit in worship, walking outside, and reading the Bible with a journal writing down thoughts, scriptures, and prayer.

I found this wonderful promise. “Those who know your name will trust you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who SEEK you.” (Psalm 9:10)

The word “seek” is a Jewish idiom for “worship” the Lord. The Lord will not abandon those who worship Him.

If change has us struggling to find joy, and to prepare our homes and hearts for Christmas, let’s put our energies in SEEKING HIM. Spend time with the LORD. Let Him speak to you in the quiet that change can bring.

[bctt tweet=”Our empty makes it possible to be filled with Him, and that helps us celebrate Christmas. ” username=”wordsbyandylee”]



If you’ve been through difficult Christmas seasons, how did you finds ways to help you celebrate?


Digging Deep to live fully,




  1. Debbie Lamoreux

    I love “Our empty makes it possible to be filled with him…” Working a 12-hour shift over the holidays + distance + estranged family relationships turns my heart and mind back to the simple message/meaning of Christmas and fills all the empty spaces. This Christmas, I’m surrounded by my loved–and remember my lost–ones but my heart is so full of HIM and his presence. Merry Christmas dear Andy!

    1. I love your love for life and Jesus. Thanks for sharing, Debbie! Merry Christmas!🎄

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *