Andrew Murray, death, faith, prayer, roller-coasters

When I Stopped Praying

A few years ago I road a roller-coaster ride in prayer. Up to that point, though my prayers weren’t always answered just as petitioned, they were favorable enough often enough to feel like I was hand in hand with God.

I usually like roller coasters. But this one was not fun. The thrill of the ups and downs and upside downs was more than I could bear. There was no thrill. Only heartache and confusion. When it was over I was numb. I couldn’t pray.

It’s taken two years of life–just living and breathing, watching the sun rise and faithfully set over and over, breathing in the change of seasons, lighting birthday candles, buying Christmas presents, and making pumpkin bread. It’s taken two years to get back to where I once had been on my prayer journey. Back to a place of faith. No answers. Only faith that despite heartache and pain God is good and He answers prayer.

Reading through one of my favorite devotionals, which I couldn’t read for two years, I came across blue ink. It’s fun to find words that once spoke to my younger self. These words were underlined by the Andy who once had great prayer-faith:

In your prayers, above everything else, beware of limiting God, not only through unbelief but also by thinking you know exactly what He can do. Learn to expect the unexpected, beyond all that you ask or think. ~Andrew Murray.

I wonder how many times I’ve limited God through my own limited imagination.

May I pray for you and me?

“God, you are so big. You are so good. Wisdom is your name. Love is your person. You’ve offered partnership with you. You’ve called us to be on your team. Close our eyes to what we see and open our hearts to your power and potential so that we might be mighty prayer warriors bringing heaven to earth every day. Even when we can’t see. By the power of Jesus…Amen.”

Much grace,

As for you, the anointing you received from Him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit–just as it  has taught you, remain in Him (1 John 2:27).



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *