Five years ago despair held me hostage.
Our entire family was called into a conference room in the hospital. We stood in a big circle facing the doctor who announced the verdict that my sister’s situation was void of hope.
On that day I learned how vital hope is to our hearts. You simply can’t live without it.
We took her home, and I became her care giver in Oklahoma. My husband and three kids were back in North Carolina. I didn’t know how long I would stay away from them–how long my sister and her husband would need me. That’s the hardest thing about situations like this. The not knowing when it will be over. The wondering how much your heart can take and the feeling that God has left the planet, at least your little part of the world.
Though thankful for the promise of heaven, heaven could not erase my pain. . . yet.
It’s hard to believe it’s been five years. I remember watching a couple coming out of a store front laughing, big smiles on their faces.
Will I ever laugh again? Through the fog of grief even the hope of genuinely laughing one day seemed gone.
But it wasn’t. Laughter returned.
After the anger subsided and I tired of the fight, I came back to my faith in the goodness of a loving God. Hope grew in my heart again. Hope beyond this world. And I experienced His voice and presence once more.
It’s a delicate balance, this thing called faith. Though I hold strongly still to the faith of Jesus’s power to heal and restore on this earth, I know my ultimate faith must reside on the promises of what’s to come.
This blog post was prompted by situations faced by dear friends, circumstances seemingly void of hope much like the one I faced five years ago and a paragraph from the June 1 devotional in Streams in the Desert. I found these words both wise and encouraging.
I implore you to not give in to despair. It is a dangerous temptation, because our Adversary has refined it to the point that it is quite subtle. Hopelessness constricts and withers the heart, rendering it unable to sense God’s blessings and grace. It also causes you to exaggerate the adversities of life and makes your burdens seem too heavy for you to bear. Yet God’s plans for you, and His ways of bringing about His plans, are infinitely wise. ~Madame Guyon
This demon called despair lurks in the shadows all around us. Whether our own circumstances or our neighbors, best friend’s or someone in the news, despair threatens living.
Don’t let it. See it for what it is. Call Despair a liar and tell it to flee.
You are treasured. Called by God. Purposed for good things.
For now and eternity.
Linking with Juana Mikel’s today.