The Call

Despite two decades and a whole lot of life since then, the vision is clear. I remember His call vividly.

 

I was standing alone in my dorm room asking God what He wanted me to do because my dad’s desire to have a lawyer in the family wasn’t a good fit for me; I hated political science classes.

 

God’s answer did not come with lightning or an earthquake, only a very vivid picture that somehow reached from my mind into my spirit. In my mind I saw a woman standing at the front of a tiny brick church wearing a pastor’s robe and a beautiful stole. Her wavy auburn hair, freckles, and smile looked very familiar, but most of all, I knew this woman’s heart. She was me.

I called my parents to tell them God had called me into ministry.

They didn’t share my enthusiasm and instructed me to get a “real” degree. So, I did what most college freshmen do trying to decide what to be when they grow up; I closed my eyes, held my breath, and picked a degree. I chose secondary education/ English as my major and planned on attending seminary after college.

 

But plans don’t always work out as we think.

After a final of many debates about religion at the end of my college career with someone very important in my life, I decided I could be wrong about Christianity and left my faith. I tried to live life believing all religions are one as my debate partner believed. I have never felt so alone and empty. I had friends all around, yet a dark hole formed within me.

Looking back, now I can see that though I left Him and my calling, He never completely left me even though I could no longer feel His presence. Now I understand that when I made all religions one, I denied Jesus Christ as my Savior.

During that lonely year, I taught middle school English. When I wasn’t teaching I wandered aimlessly trying to fill up the cavern inside. After searching and searching, I came back to the Bible and my faith. When I came back to Him, He came back to me, and the empty place was again filled. I came out of the waters of baptism rubbing my hands together ready to work for God. Ready to serve Him where He led.

But my plans still didn’t fall into place. I never went to seminary.
Not long after coming back to my Jesus, I married a soldier in the Army, and five minute after we married (not quite five minutes) I was pregnant with our first child; Mike went to war, and life has been a whirlwind since. Three children, twenty-one years of marriage, and two deployments later, I have served in ministry in many ways, even as a staff pastor, but I’ve yet to experience the complete vision I had in my dorm room.

 

I believe the call may come in a vision, a dream, or a voice. It may come when we are young or very old, but it will come—if we are asking. It may not come to fruition as we plan in our mind, but God’s plans never look exactly like we think. They always turn out better.

 

And I know… He’s not finished with me or my caling yet.

Have you heard a call from the Lord? Has it turned out as you thought?

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