An Apology if Needed

How do you hear God?

How do you know beyond knowing that what you are hearing and doing is directly from the throne?The throne of the One you want to please more than anyone else.

I have struggled my whole life as a people pleaser. And teachers loved me. My parents didn’t have to punish me very often. I allowed boundaries to be crossed and all my energy to be sapped by others because I didn’t want to let them down. But I thought I had made strides against this thorn in my flesh.

Yet I find that in this season of my life, this chapter of ministry of writing–in this world, especially in the world of publishing, it is difficult to know when I’m falling back into the trap of being a people pleaser. I do want to be a God pleaser. But the two pleasers don’t mesh. In fact one repels the other.

I often struggle with how much to step out and do in faith as I learn about the industry and when I should do nothing but wait on God to do everything. I know He can do everything.

I was warned by someone close to me that she perceived that my writing and the dream of publishing had become an idol. It stung. But once I recovered from the rebuke, and dried up the tears and stuff coming out of my nose, I began to take inventory and do a heart check and ask God to help me use this pain for His glory.

How do you keep the dream or Call from becoming an idol? If you have an answer of what you have learned to do, please share. I’m sure I will write more on this through out the weeks to come.

If it appears to you that I have done this. I am so sorry. I desperately try to follow what I believe God’s Spirit is directing me to do. Every day. Not perfectly, I know. But the heart’s desire– bottom line– is to please my heavenly Dad. My Savior. My Everything.

Much grace,
andy

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23,24).
 

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