discontentment, purpose, sovereignty

My Nothingness

I still fight it. Even after years of walking with the Lord and knowing better, I still find myself struggling with “the grass looks greener on the other side” syndrome. You know, that place of discontentment where you really wish you were somebody or something else.

Yesterday, I found myself  mourning the fact that I’m not a “professional.” I don’t have a 9-5 job that required a college degree. I don’t get up in the morning to quickly get the family off and put on my nice clothes, my hair and face, dress shoes, and perfume before I rush out the door to conquer the world. I’m wearing 15 year old shorts, t-shirt, sports-bra, reading glasses, messy hair and unadorned face as I write. (Barefoot.)

I don’t get a thrill out of cleaning my house 24/7. I don’t love doing laundry or cooking, and sometimes the silence is overwhelming. Yet, I know that this is where my Sovereign Papa has me. For a good reason.

So as I struggled yesterday knowing full well that I could be miserable in a professional job longing to be a stay-at-home mom, I found myself praying, “Oh God, please take my nothingness and use it for your glory.”

I gave my “nothingness” to Him.

Peace flooded my spirit. Joy began to take over. I felt a smile replace the look of worry and emptiness on my face.

He took my “nothingness” and filled it with Him.

I know I’m not alone in this struggle. If you struggle with your “nothingness” audibly give it to Him.

He’s the God who created the universe out of nothing. (Smile)

Grace and peace,

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of His calling, and that by His power He may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.
(2 Thess. 1:11)

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