It’s been a thorn in my side for at least twenty years. I don’t remember not liking my hair as a child. I was content to wear Little House on the Prairie braids every school day and Goldilocks curls Sunday mornings. Mom never let me wear it down unkept. It was too wild a mane to go untamed.
Every Saturday afternoon she’d plop me on the kitchen counter where I’d lay and hang my head over the sink. It wasn’t as comfortable as a salon, but our make-shift “chair” sufficed. I remember giggling during the entire hair washing. Then came the combing and the rolling up on pink, squishy rollers. I wore them every Saturday night. I even remembering wearing them to the county fair. Really. I was probably 5, an age when you can get by with such style blunder.
I even liked my hair.
But something happened.
After I got married and pregnant with my first baby I lost my contentment. I cut my hair. And I have never been content with it since. It’s been short. It’s been long. I’ve tried to straighten it. I’ve tried to wear it curly.
Why does it seem we want what we do not have?
Women with straight hair want waves while we with waves want straight.
So crazy I jumped off a cliff the other day and had my hair chemically straightened!
Do I like it? I don’t know. I look different.
I find myself repenting of wanting to be someone I’m not. And I continue to cry out to God to help me rest in His love for me and to take my eyes off the mirror onto those in need. Because when my eyes are off of me, it doesn’t matter if my hair is straight or curly. And the emptiness I feel when focused on myself is filled with joy when I bless someone else.
I know I’m not the only one who fights with self. It’s the human condition. But we who have Christ no longer have to fight this battle. He fills up the hole. He has shown us the way: He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8).
Do you have a selfish obsession?
If so, you might want to pray with me:
“Lord, please forgive us for our selfish obsessions. Take them away. Put our eyes on you and the needs of others. Give us eternal vision rather than this earthly 20/20 that can barely see past our noses. We love you Lord. Thank you for the hair you gave us, the color of our eyes, our freckles, our shape, and every detail. We praise you because we were fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, we know that full well.* Use us for Your Kingdom. Not ours. Amen.”