The stadium was packed. Our team was already behind 6 to 0. I was late. I had missed the memo that the game was starting at 7:00. As I headed toward to bleachers near the band I prayed to see someone I knew who I could sit with during the game. Despite my prayers, I saw no one. I hate standing there searching and staring at the crowd, so I hastily and desperately dodged for the first empty spot I found.
There was no acquaintance (much less friend) in sight. The clumps of friends surrounding me, young and old laughed and talked and did everything besides watch the football game. It was homecoming. Girls had glitter on their faces; alums had come to participate in the ritual and reunite with old friends.
And there I sat. Alone.
For 21 years our military family has moved around. We’ve never really grown deep roots, and I’ve often experienced this lonely phenomenon. It’s just the weirdest thing. I can be totally surrounded be a crowd of people, even know some of them, but be lost in the depths of loneliness.
I tried to fight it Friday night, but the elephant just sat there on my chest defying my demands for it to go away. So I endured and prayed and was probably the most thankful person when the game was over. I couldn’t walk to my car fast enough.
God has been allowing me to experience loneliness a lot lately. Maybe I’m experiencing “almost empty nest” syndrome with one little bird out of the nest.
Maybe it’s because Mike is often away on buisness.
But maybe God is trying to teach me something.
God is always teaching me something. The problem is, I’m not always eager to learn.
I confess I don’t know if I have a point to this blog or a “take home” application for my readers.
But I felt compelled to share. I felt compelled to tell you that if you are dealing with an elephant on your chest today whether loneliness, grief, worry, or something else, someone else is too.
My prayer for us today: “What do you want us to do with it Lord? Use our loneliness, our pain, our sorrow, our joy, our abundance, our emptiness for Your glory! You spoke the world out of nothing. You can turn our empty to full.”
Today’s verse: John 14:15-17a