It has been a strange. I’ve been alone in my house without any of my family. Lauren is in Mexico getting her first taste of missionary life, and the boys and Mike are in California visiting family.
It has taken awhile to declutter my heart and listen. I have not dressed in camel hair and eaten wild locust. I haven’t even fasted. (In fact, I think I gained weight. I ate a hershey bar every day!) But here I am on the last day all alone, and I know that He has met me here.
June 6th journal entry:
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the time with you. You are not to be written. No words adequately describe You. Thank you for these days alone. They were “lost” days almost. So much of me is wrapped up in who I am to other people. So much of me thrives according to my “jobs”.
He replied, “Being…. being. Just Be. Get up every morning in the dark. Fight the battle. Bring your ointment–the healing balm I provide. It is not answers or words or faith–it is love.”
Thank you Lord. Amen.
For those who have small children circling your ankles why you are trying to read this on your i-phone, I promise, the days are fleeting. You too will experience such silence as I have. In the mean time, it is so important to spend time with Him when you can. Otherwise, when the children grow up, it will be harder to bear.
For those of you who know such silence– Trust. Listen. Don’t try to make it a holy moment. Just be.
I can’t wait to hear some of your conversations with Jesus.
Much love,
andy
